When I have occasionally set myself to consider the different distractions of men, the pains and perils to which they expose themselves at court or in war, whence arise so many quarrels, passions, bold and often bad ventures, etc., I have discovered that all the unhappiness of men arises from one single fact: that they cannot stay quietly in their own chamber. A commission in the army would not be bought so dearly, but that it is found insufferable not to budge from the town; and men only seek conversation and entering games, because they cannot remain with pleasure at home.
Blaise Pascal, Pensées, 139 (1623 - 1662)
About Me
am an undergraduate student in Pure Mathematics, as well as a freelance writer and independent researcher based in Chicago. Much of my time is spent building number sense as well as long-term, semantic, and procedural memory of mathematical concepts. I do a great deal of interconnected knowledge work. Much of my research is conducted publicly through my notebooks, and notes. Those are the generative source of my work. This site contains a wide variety of material, including:
papers, essays, notebooks, reviews, fiction, verse, my diary entries, and sequences.
I also maintain several recurring columns, including The Soapbox, Field Notes, and Off The Record.
Outside of formal work, I am an enthusiastic archivist of media and internet culture. The site includes extensive records of films, anime, television, books, blogs, podcasts, and other long-term interests. Some pages exist purely because I became tired of repeatedly answering questions like "what are your favorite books?" or "who most influenced your thinking in this field?"
I also do a fair bit of work on the engineering side. I am actively studying with the goal of becoming a kernel contributor in a broad sense. Narrowing on an area can be done later, but kernel work is what interests me the most. At some point I also wouldn't mind some extra income from maintaining niche software. Most of my software work follows the suckless philosophy and is written in C. I also do a ton of scripting, and of course web dev with my personal stack suckmore. My open source is distributed on SourceHut, and mirrored to various other platforms.
My long-term goal is to pursue doctoral study and construct a life centered on sustained intellectual labor, slow living, and independence from hustle culture.
My guiding principles are fairly simple:
- remain ignorant of as little as possible
- suffer only for things worthy of the cost
- do all things decently and in order
- keep the commandments of God
I have an enduring interest in theology, ethics, history, and the question of how one ought to live responsibly in a complicated world.
I am also interested in effective altruism and long-term philanthropy. A portion of both my current resources and future plans are oriented toward causes that reduce suffering and preserve human flourishing where possible.
I grew up lower middle class, and remain in that background for the time. It has shaped my thinking considerably, particularly regarding consumption, labor, education, and long-term stability.
Websites
I am on a few websites consistently, and a few more infrequently. I tend to keep an x tab open most days to check up on interesting things. I also tend to search reddit for valuable information or to gauge public opinion on niche internet topics. I spend a decent amount of time browsing sites on neocities, and even old geocities sites. I track my reading on hardcover when I remember to, and my animanga on mal. You could also say I do a fair bit of browsing on lesswrong from time to time.
Profile
I am a highly introverted, judgmental person. Contra mundum. My beliefs are typically to some degree an inversion of the mainstream. I suffer an acute case of melancholia that has waxed and waned throughout my life. I am not part of the subset of people that tend to openly react to most things. In fact I often find myself paralyzed in thought on the proper way I should respond to a situation I care nothing about. If you plan on sticking around, it might be useful to know that I am radically obsessed with knowledge of self, and do tend to measure myself by even the most arbitrary of standards at times. It could be considered a most tedious hobby, one that must be done. I have recorded results to a number of tests listed below.
Moral Foundations Questionnaire Moral Foundations Sacredness Scale Ethics Positions Questionnaire Moral Identity Scale
Schwartz Value Survey The Disgust Scale Morality and Relationships Questionnaire Business Ethics