Delilah

  We have another viceroy now,--those days are dead and done
  Of Delilah Aberyswith and depraved Ulysses Gunne.

  Delilah Aberyswith was a lady--not too young--
  With a perfect taste in dresses and a badly-bitted tongue,
  With a thirst for information, and a greater thirst for praise,
  And a little house in Simla in the Prehistoric Days.

  By reason of her marriage to a gentleman in power,
  Delilah was acquainted with the gossip of the hour;
  And many little secrets, of the half-official kind,
  Were whispered to Delilah, and she bore them all in mind.

  She patronized extensively a man, Ulysses Gunne,
  Whose mode of earning money was a low and shameful one.
  He wrote for certain papers, which, as everybody knows,
  Is worse than serving in a shop or scaring off the crows.

  He praised her “queenly beauty” first; and, later on, he hinted
  At the “vastness of her intellect” with compliment unstinted.
  He went with her a-riding, and his love for her was such
  That he lent her all his horses and--she galled them very much.

  One day, THEY brewed a secret of a fine financial sort;
  It related to Appointments, to a Man and a Report.
  'Twas almost worth the keeping,--only seven people knew it--
  And Gunne rose up to seek the truth and patiently pursue it.

  It was a Viceroy's Secret, but--perhaps the wine was red--
  Perhaps an Aged Councillor had lost his aged head--
  Perhaps Delilah's eyes were bright--Delilah's whispers sweet--
  The Aged Member told her what 'twere treason to repeat.

  Ulysses went a-riding, and they talked of love and flowers;
  Ulysses went a-calling, and he called for several hours;
  Ulysses went a-waltzing, and Delilah helped him dance--
  Ulysses let the waltzes go, and waited for his chance.

  The summer sun was setting, and the summer air was still,
  The couple went a-walking in the shade of Summer Hill.
  The wasteful sunset faded out in Turkish-green and gold,
  Ulysses pleaded softly, and-- that bad Delilah told!

  Next morn, a startled Empire learnt the all-important news;
  Next week, the Aged Councillor was shaking in his shoes.
  Next month, I met Delilah and she did not show the least
  Hesitation in affirming that Ulysses was a “beast.”
               *   *   *   *   *

  We have another Viceroy now, those days are dead and done--
  Of Delilah Aberyswith and most mean Ulysses Gunne!