Platitudes That Need to Die

Common wisdom that sounds profound but often leads people astray. These phrases persist because they're comfortable lies that let us avoid harder truths.

"Everything happens for a reason"

Why it's harmful: This suggests that suffering serves some cosmic purpose, which diminishes the real pain people experience and discourages action to prevent future suffering.

Better truth: Most things happen randomly. We create meaning by choosing how to respond to what happens to us.

"Follow your passion"

Why it's harmful: Passion often follows mastery, not the other way around. This advice ignores the reality that most valuable work requires developing skills that aren't initially exciting.

Better truth: Develop valuable skills, find ways to contribute meaningfully, and passion often emerges from competence.

"Money can't buy happiness"

Why it's harmful: This is usually said by people who have enough money. Financial stress is real, and basic security does improve well-being significantly.

Better truth: Money can't buy happiness beyond a certain point, but poverty definitely creates suffering.

"Just be yourself"

Why it's harmful: Sometimes "yourself" is anxious, unprepared, or inconsiderate. Personal growth often requires being better than your current self.

Better truth: Be the best version of yourself, and work to expand what that means.

"Work hard and you'll succeed"

Why it's harmful: This ignores luck, privilege, systemic barriers, and the fact that many people work extremely hard without achieving conventional success.

Better truth: Work smart on valuable things, acknowledge the role of luck, and define success for yourself.

"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"

Why it's harmful: This encourages people to accept bad behavior as authentic rather than working to be better partners, friends, or colleagues.

Better truth: Good relationships require effort from both people to minimize their worst tendencies and amplify their best ones.

"Age is just a number"

Why it's harmful: Age brings real changes in energy, health, responsibilities, and perspectives. Pretending otherwise prevents realistic planning and acceptance.

Better truth: Age affects many things, but it doesn't determine your worth or potential for growth.

"There are no stupid questions"

Why it's harmful: Some questions are asked without any effort to find the answer first, or reveal a lack of basic preparation that wastes everyone's time.

Better truth: Questions that show you've done your homework are welcome. Questions that show you haven't are often stupid.

"You can be anything you want to be"

Why it's harmful: This ignores real constraints like genetics, circumstances, resources, and timing. It sets people up for disappointment and self-blame.

Better truth: You have more potential than you probably realize, but real constraints exist. Work within them intelligently.

"Live each day as if it's your last"

Why it's harmful: If you actually did this, you'd make terrible long-term decisions. You'd never save money, exercise, or maintain relationships.

Better truth: Balance present enjoyment with future planning. Most days aren't your last.

"Good things come to those who wait"

Why it's harmful: Passivity is rarely rewarded. Good things usually come to those who work toward them while waiting.

Better truth: Good things come to those who prepare, persist, and position themselves for opportunities.

"It's not about the destination, it's about the journey"

Why it's harmful: Sometimes the destination matters a lot. If you're walking to the hospital, the journey isn't the point.

Better truth: Both journey and destination can matter. Choose your destinations wisely and try to enjoy the path.

"Failure is not an option"

Why it's harmful: This prevents experimentation and learning. Fear of failure often leads to playing it safe and missing opportunities.

Better truth: Failure is often the best teacher. Make failure cheap and recover quickly.

"Think positive"

Why it's harmful: Toxic positivity prevents people from processing negative emotions, addressing real problems, or preparing for likely challenges.

Better truth: Acknowledge reality honestly, then choose your response wisely.

"Trust your gut"

Why it's harmful: Your gut is full of biases, fears, and incomplete information. It's often wrong about complex decisions.

Better truth: Use intuition as one input among many, but verify with evidence and logic.

"You only live once (YOLO)"

Why it's harmful: This is often used to justify short-term thinking and risky behavior that creates long-term problems.

Better truth: You only live once, so make it count by thinking long-term and building something meaningful.

"Time heals all wounds"

Why it's harmful: Some wounds require active treatment, not just waiting. Time can also make untreated problems worse.

Better truth: Time creates distance from pain, but healing often requires deliberate effort and sometimes professional help.

These platitudes persist because they're comforting and simple. But comfort and simplicity aren't always what we need. Sometimes we need harder truths that lead to better decisions.

@article{yotam2025platitudes-that-need-to-die,
  title   = "Platitudes That Need to Die",
  author  = "Yotam, Kris",
  journal = "krisyotam.com",
  year    = "2025",
  month   = "May",
  url     = "https://krisyotam.com/notes/random/platitudes-that-need-to-die"
}